orchid: misunderstood, not difficult

the grandma paradox

orchids die from exactly one thing: being treated like normal plants. they don't live in soil, they live in bark. their roots want air and light. your grandma ignores hers on a windowsill and waters it with an ice cube of neglect — and that's closer to its natural life than your loving daily misting.

the honest expectation

keeping it alive: easy. getting it to flower again: a 3–6 month patience project involving cooler nights and zero visible progress. the flowers falling off is not death — it's the start of the boring middle chapter. most people give up here. don't.